Whod you bang
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
