She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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