Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
