I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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