Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She needs sedatives and a leash
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
