know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
