so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I will be naked everywhere
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
