Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He better not be in your backpack
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
