giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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