dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
