Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I had to cum in my sink.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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