If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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