p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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