He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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