yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
