the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
