Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
