That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
