I cockslap morals
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I intend to get homeless drunk
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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