if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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