i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
