whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
