operation harelip BJ is a go
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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