Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You ruined the universe
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
