Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize