How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize