It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
