Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
