You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
