We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
