captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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