Betty ford says i'm here all night
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
