Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize