Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
