With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
