What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
lets start a swedish sibling band together
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize