sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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