They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
