I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
