Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
