i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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