Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
