He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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