I want to stick my p in your. b.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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