A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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