Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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