i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
