i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
