I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
