I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
