Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
operation harelip BJ is a go
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
