If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
