So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
