did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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