Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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