Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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