They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
