margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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