He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
