ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
