Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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