are you still at the devil's house?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
