As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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