Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I puked a lego.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
