Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
