i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
where am i from again
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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