i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
