Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you will always have a special place in my vag
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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