Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
